He doesn't, Honey. He was doing just fine without me, and I'm glad. I need him to be okay with me gone. I guess I just always thought I'd be there to watch it happen.
Needing someone and being okay when they're gone aren't mutually exclusive you know. He just got used to functioning without a big brother around. It's gonna take a little time for him to figure out how to process having you around again.
I don't know. I found him up late and told him to go to bed. He hurt his foot and I guess I wasn't particularly nice about dragging him to the lab to bandage it. I was just worried.
His foot. Or him working himself too hard. I'm not sure. Both? First I pushed him into college and now he's up in the middle of the night repairing showers? I should have let him be a kid.
[ tadashi bro you are all over the place finding excuses for the guilt you're feeling over dying, huh. ]
Now you're just being silly. TD I've been at SFIT with him for a little while now. Trust me when I tell you that it is exactly where H wants and needs to be. He's so happy there, he's doing really well.
He probably doesn't sleep well sometimes. And probably gets caught up in projects sometimes. He needs more sleep than us because he's growing, but at home he has your aunt, and here he'll get it even if he stays up all night, because it's not like he has to get up to go to classes.
[ it's hard, being the big brother. it means he's not supposed to fall apart in front of hiro, that he's supposed to let all of this slide off of his back when he's suddenly terrified of so many things.
how bad is it going to hurt, anyway, dying in an explosion like that? will it be instant?
[ --because lying to her right then seems like a really stupid thing to do, when she's one of the people who knows him better than almost anyone else. ]
But I'll be alright, Honey. Especially with you two here.
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He's grown up a lot, though.
What happened?
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Also you didn't answer my question, TD.
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What about?
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What were you worried about?
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[ tadashi bro you are all over the place finding excuses for the guilt you're feeling over dying, huh. ]
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He probably doesn't sleep well sometimes. And probably gets caught up in projects sometimes. He needs more sleep than us because he's growing, but at home he has your aunt, and here he'll get it even if he stays up all night, because it's not like he has to get up to go to classes.
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He misses you, probably more than he tells us, but we ALL do. He's happy much more often than he's sad, though.
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[ it's hard, being the big brother. it means he's not supposed to fall apart in front of hiro, that he's supposed to let all of this slide off of his back when he's suddenly terrified of so many things.
how bad is it going to hurt, anyway, dying in an explosion like that? will it be instant?
he just doesn't know. ]
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Honey doesn't honestly know how to help, but she'll do her best. She can't imagine how scary the knowledge is, that once you go home... you're dead. ]
Yes, you were. And it sucks for everyone that you're not.
You okay? I mean, probably not, I probably wouldn't be, but...
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[ --because lying to her right then seems like a really stupid thing to do, when she's one of the people who knows him better than almost anyone else. ]
But I'll be alright, Honey. Especially with you two here.
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Have you apologized yet?
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[ UNSURE. ]
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Dying was not your fault, you don't need to apologize for that.
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Urghhh. Why is this so hard?
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Whether you apologize or not though, you should talk to him soon. Don't ever go to bed angry, Papa always used to tell me that.
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